The 29th Birthday Resolutions

It was a gloomy Sunday, 28th of October 2012, it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sofa in my small, dark, rented flat and listening to the music. It was one of the Chopin’s Etude played by Sviatoslav Richter. I am not a big fan of Chopin’s music but it was a birthday gift from my Parents as I am old enough, in their opinion, to try to understand the classical music. They are right: I’m 29 so I’m old enough.

I had my 29th Birthday yesterday. I received a lot of beautiful and meaningful wishes from my family and friends, which made me very happy. I discovered once again that being far away doesn’t mean that my relationship with other people can’t be very deep and close. I also noticed once more that I have lovely friends here – far away from my home – which means that my place in the World is also here now. I should have been happy, however as it was my last birthday with number “2” in the front I had a lot of contradictory thoughts.

I was sitting on the sofa in my small, dark, rented flat, listening to the music and thinking about my life and my previous choices which have determined my future. I am 29 now, have been married for 9 years with the perfect man, without children. I am 29 now, a well educated professional with two masters degrees but without job from June this year and with a lot of plans for myself which haven’t worked as I had hoped for. I am 29 now, an only child with parents far away, who need me right now more than ever before. I am 29 now and I feel depressed without any particular reason.

I had my 29th Birthday yesterday so the time dedicated only to myself couldn’t last too long. The sounds of music were interrupted by the phone ringtone, it was my Brother-in-law who called me with his wishes and I found this conversation the most important from a long list of the awesome birthday wishes I received. He mentioned that he had felt depressed a couple of months before when he had his 29th birthday, but finally he realized that it was a beginning of the new era rather that the end of youthfulness. He said to me: “make every of your day before your 30th birthday powerful and meaningful to make sure that you will be a happy, successful and a confident 30 year old woman this time next year”. I promised myself I will do that, make all of the wishes come true! “Here I am, this is me (…) it’s a new world, it’s a new start, it’s alive with the beating of young hearts…”