Do not tell me to keep calm

Last Friday the Polish Parliament rejected three proposed draft bills giving civil partnership rights to heterosexual and homosexual couples. All three proposals, presented by three different parties did not grant couples in civil partnerships the same rights as married couples, even though there was no majority in the Parliament to pass any of these projects. Therefore Polish modern couples, who live together without being married, have to face problems in their lives, from tax returns through to receiving health information or inheritance rights. The most ridiculous thing is that they can move to another European country such as the UK and sign their civil partnership documents without any problems, as Poland is a member of the European Union. This shows that Polish law is unable to keep up with changes in society.

Unfortunately it wasn’t the worst thing which happened on Friday in Poland. In the House of Parliament one of the deputies, Krystyna Pawłowicz, said: "Society cannot finance structures and institutions, which do not allow society to last." She used the words: “useless” and “idle” regarding homosexuals, which sounded like a joke while it was said by a 60 years old single woman without any children. However this was no joke.

It is hard to believe that a member of the government is allowed to say something so offensive without taking any formal responsibility for this. The Polish government works in this way, I’m afraid. Once a minister offended a prostitute by saying that she, as being a prostitute, was unable to be raped… These kind of outrageous phrases are still said publicly.

The situation devastated me as for me it is no less than breaking Human Rights, which shouldn’t take place in a civilized country. It made me deeply sad as I know that for a lot of Polish young, smart, well educated professionals it’s an additional reason to leave their country and choose another place where they can live more comfortably, even as strangers. It alarmed me as this problem is not a battle between modernity and tradition or a young and old generation but it is a fight for basic human rights – the right to live worthily. A society is sick if their members are unable to tolerate each other with regards to the basic differences like another life style or sexual preferences… it makes me sick to observe that the Polish government simply do nothing to reduce the differences and make us, as a Polish society, more united.

As Pawłowicz said: "Society cannot finance structures and institutions, which do not allow society to last." My dear gay friends… do not worry… I’m more idle and useless than you are. I’m childless AND an emigrant so I am destroying Polish society in two ways.  What is more, I’m ashamed and embarrassed because of the words which were spoken in our House of Parliament and I’m standing against them… I won’t keep calm and drink tea…

increase of cases

infection is very

unpleasant but it is short-lived and most

people recover in a couple of days

everyone has a right

to respect for family life 

(article 8 of European convention of human rights)

How to change the pattern

It takes more than average confidence to break this

pattern. You have to tackle it as a habit: in small ways

in safe situations. Build up a strong attitude, work out

a strategy and get your friends and family to reinforce

you. It's not you that's bad, it's your response to the

situation. Being passive may have worked for you as a

child, but it doesn't work now, and it's time to change.

Pay for your

everyday life

till death do us part

The weightiness of the Oscar Award

The special moments always come surprisingly. 

It was an ordinary evening, after dinner I had a choice between staying at home and reading a book or going to cinema. It was dark, freezing and snowing outside so I was very close to choose my sofa but finally I overcame my inner “His Lazyness”  and decided to go out. There was a special screening of an independent film “Zaytoun” which I found attractive due to the plot and an announced meeting with the producer. 

When we reached the cinema, the hall was packed with people holding their mobiles. “Oh, God Almighty” – I thought – “The Orange Wednesday offer! I’m not happy waiting in this huge queue for the film which is likely not the best, even if the story is interesting and important!” But finally we decided to stay, as we had already left the flat, leaving its cosiness and warmth. We bought the tickets and climbed to the highest level of the cinema complex. In the screening room we met other 12, maybe 15 people.

“Zaytoun” is a story with the historical and political backgrounds from the Middle East. It shows a group of children, Palestinian refugee, who live in a Beirut camp, Lebanon in 1982. In their school class more and more chairs are empty as their school mates die due to warfare. One of the boys, Fahed, loses his Dad, what makes him angry and bloodthirsty. Therefore he practices hard to be a Palestinian soldier as he believes that his duty is to fight back his Dad’s land, which that time is occupied by Israel. One day his steps cross with an Israeli fighter pilot, possibly one who took part in the attack when Fahed’s dad was killed… it’s the beginning of a meaningful trip and a symbolical relationship.

This film touches me deeply as it shows that our personal losses and fears can lead to blind cruelty. It makes me sick and sad as it shows that people fight against each other forgetting that we all are humans who have rights not only to live but also to live worthily. It also makes me laugh when it shows the friendship with all of it ups and downs… and the ups are very often quite funny. :)

The topics discussed in the film are terribly difficult but we need to face them. We – as mankind – can’t be blind to the cruelty and horrors which are the reality in the other parts of the World. As long as we are humans, ALL human’s issues should deeply bother us.  

After the screening we were lucky to talk to Gareth Unwin – the producer of this particular film as well as “The King’s Speech”, which brought him the Oscar award. He made us more familiar with his productions by answering our questions and talk to us in very informal and friendly way. We discussed the challenges of the independent cinema. He even mentioned that he had to finance himself significant part of the “Zaytoun’s” budget… let’s bear in mind that the whole amount was 8mln dollars!  He let us hold his Oscar Statue. I took it gently and I was surprised how heavy it was… as a burden to bear, when you have to choose between producing commercial, mainstream propaganda or opening eyes to the truth. 

Dear Mr. Unwin, please, keep opening my eyes, don’t let me stay blind, insensitive and idle… even if this burden is much heavier than your Oscar Statue… Because of this award you are obliged to do so. I believe that you know and understand the weightiness of the Oscar. I’m ready to promise not to stay on my cosy sofa, even if it is dark, freezing and snowing outside… 

We no longer need theory...

Aletta

I know Aletta for exactly 6 weeks, so it’s a good time to introduce her to you. 

She came to me on Tuesday 11th of December and she stayed with me. I very often look into her light blue, misty eyes and I see “The castle La Roche Guyon” by George Braque. Have you ever seen this oil painting from 1909, which is exhibited in Pushkin Museum in Moscow, Russia? I’ve never seen the original painting which is in greys, whites, yellows and greens. The copy which I have is more white and blue as it is only a postcard which is at least 11 years. These two colours, cloudy white and blue, are reflected in the mysterious eyes of my Aletta. 

Aletta is inscrutable and uncanny, it’s difficult to predict how old she is as well as who she is and what she is doing for a living. She definitely likes well written books: novels with historical, political and social backgrounds… exactly as I do…

I really would like to believe that we are similar but in my eyes you can find the “Frenzy of Exultations” painted by the Polish painter Podkowiński in 1894. The power of instincts colours me, and so in my eyes black, brown, ginger and white, shown in the painting, are dancing together to finally give a honey light. 

I am ordinary and predictable, I’m 29 and I’m still no one special who is doing nothing amazing. But I definitely like well written books: novels with historical, political and social backgrounds… exactly as Aletta does…

Aletta came to me in a weird way. She was left in a charity shop, in a second-hand book, which I received from my Jo. He gave me this book on Tuesday 11th of December, exactly 11 years after Aletta’s Dad sent her a card with his greetings. I have found this card in the book and this is how I met Aletta first time. I looked at “The castle La Roche Guyon”, from the card sent by Aletta’s Dad, and I felt that I looked deeply into her eyes. She smiled and agreed to stay with me for a while. Whoever she is and whatever she is doing, she is my girlfriend… my Aletta. 

Do

something

unforgettable

today

Keep warm and make a date!

I hate Fridays, when a lot of things accumulate. While I was working, every single Friday afternoon was hectic because people tried to close their tasks before weekend… FGS!!! Why did they wait all week to finally do this in rush on Friday afternoon??? It didn’t make any sense for me. Currently, when I’m looking for a job, the same things are happening. On Friday afternoon my email box is filled with thousands of this kind of emails, which definitely do NOT make me happier and more optimistic regarding my future:

Thank you for taking the time to apply for the position….

We have now filled this position but wish you every success in the future.

Kind Regards

Kelly

OR

Dear Magdalena

Thank you for attending your recent interview with … last week for the position ...

Unfortunately, after very careful consideration you have not been successful, therefore, I am sorry that we are not able to pursue your application further on this occasion.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest shown in this position and for taking the time and trouble to apply.

We wish you every success in your continuing search for suitable employment.

Yours sincerely

Richard  

DAMN IT! That WAS a suitable position!!! I WAS a suitable person!!! So what is wrong with me??? What is wrong with other 200 people who applied for the position but have been unsuccessful as I was?

Looking for a job is not so easy. The first of all you have to be very careful with your search as a lot of job advertisements are tricky and show a future job as an amazing opportunity rather than a door to door selling which it finally is. Secondly you have to be patient with sending your CVs and doing your follow-ups as only a low percentage of these will lead you to the interview stage. The most important thing is to continue sending your applications and do not give up even if your phone is silent.

The silent phone, when you are looking for a job, is the most horrible thing. When you find that people are not impressed with your resume as well as skills and experience shown there, you simply start to feel like a looser. Despite the fact how good you are, the level of your confidence falls down rapidly and you have no base to build it on again.

You also have to deal with numerous job agencies with incompetent job advisors, who are nice but unfortunately most of them haven’t got even a half of your experience. Therefore you are evaluated by people who are unable to understand your CV.  You have to face their advises like: “ Honey, delete your high education and a couple of points in your experience to make things easier and to be sure that you are able to find a nice and easy job, obviously below your expectations.” This kind of advice doesn’t help me to be ambitious and optimistic.

Supposedly “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; stand a little taller”… but with regards to this topic, in my opinion, you just need to find another way. When doors are closed you need to find an open window… But do not ask me about this now as I’m a little bit down after another Friday...

9th November 2012

Vacancy: Little Angel with Enormous Wings

Dear Man,

Thank you for your recent application for the above vacancy.

The darker nights close in.

Unfortunately we are unable to invite every applicant for an interview and as there are other applicants who appear to match our requirements a little more closely, we will not be progressing with your application on this occasion.

There’s nobody who does in better than 007.

I would however like to retain your details on file and will contact you should a suitable vacancy arise. Keep in touch.

In the meantime we wish you every success in the bright future.

Keep warm and make a date.

Yours sincerely,

a child

It DOES matter!

On Saturday I was lucky enough to see an exhibition „Music and Liberation” in one of the independent galleries – Space Station Sixty-Five in London. It was the last day of this exposition so I was more than happy that I had a chance to go there and learn more about women’s liberation music-making in the UK in the 70s and 80s.

The exhibition showed how feminists used music as an activist tool to fight with the social and political system regarding stereotypes of women’s social roles, which were mostly based on being a housewife. For me, a person behind the Iron Curtain, this piece of the British history was very interesting. In Poland during this time people, regardless of their gender, fought with communism, therefore this particular kind of movement wasn’t very popular there.

Different kinds of exhibits from the private collections were showcased in the Space Station Sixty-Five, these included the posters, songbooks, t-shirts, instruments, books, notes, diaries, pictures, fliers, button badges and of course the music which was played. It was an unique event, which gave me an opportunity to touch the piece of history which let us – women – be at the stage we are now.

Many times we completely forget that we can live, work and enjoy our lives only because somebody fought for these before. Without this kind of movement, women could still only sing “The lament of housewives”. It is the same with regards to every single part of our lives, including the human, worker or children’s rights.

In all decades and centuries a lot of activists struggled against the reality to create better lives for them, their children, their loved ones, and for humans generally. The system or even other members of the public, who didn’t see and understand the sense of these fights tried to stop or ban them, but the fighters were undeterred. They heard thousands of times: “just give it up; it doesn’t matter as you are unable to change anything!” And maybe they suffered too much but it was worthy enough as they built better conditions for us.

Therefore, even if we feel sometimes that we are powerless, we shouldn’t give our beliefs up as it does matter if we struggle for them or not. Even if our actions aren’t spectacular and don’t make any difference now, they create the future.

I read a story once. It was about a man who walked on the seaside during a low tide and threw jellyfish, which were lying on the sea shore, into the water. He met another man who doubtfully looked at him and said: “Man, what are you doing? There are thousands of jellyfish here! You are unable to rescue them all so give this stupid idea up as it doesn’t matter!” The first man patiently picked up the next jellyfish and said whilst throwing it into the sea: “It DOES matter for this one”.  

Do we have great minds to discuss this idea?

Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people 
[Eleanor Roosevelt]

Is it true? I do not agree! What about discussing ideas by showing people? That has happened during the last 3 months at the New Walk Museum and Art Gallery in Leicester. Two of the temporary exhibitions, pictures made by August Sander as well as graphics by George Grosz, have showed the idea of discussing people by introducing them as they really looked, without polishing the reality. 

  

Sander’s work focused on the portraits of “People of the 20th Century” so he photographed representatives of every class, profession and sex. We can look into the eyes of farmers, cooks, industrialists, proletarian intellectuals, politicians, socialists, philosophers, nuns, priests, nurses, doctors, secretaries, students, soldiers, policemen, prisoners, artists and actresses. The photos show every single wrinkle on their faces as well as the texture of the material in their clothes, which makes the pictures expressive and real. I have the same feeling whilst looking at his studies of hands. I was very close to touching them, trying to shake them or just handle them gently.

Grosz drew and painted at a similar time as Sander photographed, but he not only showed reality but also emphasized the weakness of the German society from the beginning of the 20th century. Most of his ironic graphics were destroyed by the government as they cynically pointed out the cruelty caused by the politicians of the day. The ones which have remained judge the political system and gaps in the law. They also show society without being prudish.  

Both artists keep the portrayed people as real as they were. For the art should be meaningful which means it should show the truth. “By sight and observation and thought, with the help of the camera, and the addition of the date of the year, we can hold fast the history of the world” said Sander. 

Sander’s and Grosz’s work holds the story which the world tries to tell us. Do we have great minds to discuss this idea?