I’m not against Christmas!

Does anyone know any radio station which is free from Christmas songs and carols? I’ve tried very hard to find one, but I ended up with the special Christmas Radio Station where only Christmas songs are played.

Does anyone know any shop where seasonal Christmas stuff doesn’t take the main place in the store? When I went to an Indian supermarket last time, even there I found the special Christmas offers. These were for spices and chapaties, but the offers were called Christmas Offers anyway!!!

Does anyone still follow their routine despite of the Christmas run-up? This morning I observed that a lot of my fitness classes mates have no time to go to the gym as they normally do just because they practise their kick boxing whilst doing their Christmas shopping.

Does anyone is able to say that is not affected by the festive season and doesn’t join the Christmas rush and the Christmas insanity? I am worried that no one is able to say this.

Last weekend I had no time to read books or go to a theatre just because of Christmas. I needed to join two Christmas parties organised by our employers, make or buy the presents for friends and family as well as pack them. I needed to write Christmas greetings and post them as well as to bake some warming-up Christmas cakes to make Christmas time even more Christmassy. Did I really need to do these?

What’s the point of doing all of these?  The only one reason is to show my loved ones that I love them. Christmas is a good time to do so but every ordinary day is even better. 

The only one thing I need to remember of, is to make every common day extraordinary by making and giving presents without any reason, by meeting each other in order to enjoy being together, by baking together and having fun with forming the half moon shaped cookies – just because I LOVE YOU!

I’m not against Christmas; I just wish we created “the excitement of the Christmas morning” every day! 

You have sealed away the past...

A deep red and warm interior of the Y Theatre, round tables covered by soft and red table cloths, smiling people sitting around each table on old theatrical chairs, lights focused on the stage and… action. 

Nine men on the stage, with their histories enchanted in words filled the space. Nine poems made from feelings and experiences filled minds. Nine short, black and white films helped to see the poems in colours. Nine separated performances created a whole show… and this was the first part of that night.

The performers deeply touched me again, the first time they did it was a couple of months ago when they had their first launch during the “Everybody’s Reading” festival. After that event a lot changed in my way of discovering and exploring the World. I hardly understand why it happened, but the poems from their anthology tilted “The poems to read before u die” definitely makes me more alive every time I read them. The poems have made me more alive at all, even if they are about illnesses, problems, fears, hopes… or maybe because of these?

You have sealed away the past,
my memories are all of the last month… [Jo Twist]

Thou shalt not kill!

It was a Friday evening, a lovely time to chill out, relax and just be happy. With a glass of wine in my hand I logged in to Facebook to check the new messages which I received that day. A couple of them were with regards to some events which I would have liked to take part in, while the other were chats with my friends. I didn’t expect anything terrible to be seen on Facebook that evening but unfortunately I was wrong.

The first thing which I saw when logged in was a high resolution picture published on the wall by one of my friends. It was raw meat with raw egg garnished with fresh chopped onion which is a very typical dish in Poland called “tatar”. I know that publishing dishes on Facebook is very common and I do this myself when I try out the new Indian dish or a delicious homemade cake I baked. I believe that for many of my friends these kinds of pictures posted by me are boring but I believe that the images do not offend anyone.

This particular picture, of the fresh “tatar”, I found very offensive to me as well as to other vegetarians and vegans. I wrote to my friend to emphasize to him that as he doesn’t publish the pictures of dead and massacred people so why does he do that to butchered animals. My request was ignored so I wrote to Facebook to report this cruelty but they replied that this image is just a standard picture of the food which is not forbidden to be posted on Facebook so they are unable to help me.

Who is able to help me then? Who is able to stop this disgusting practice? I will fight with this, so are you on my side? Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world. How about going to the basis: Thou shalt not kill!

People are afraid to merge in Los Angeles

“I realize that money doesn't matter. That all that does is that I want to see the worst”. This sentence, from the book “Less than zero” by Bret Easton Ellis, describes this story accurately. I sat on my cosy sofa, read this book and I felt more and more awful and terrible page by page. I would have liked to stop reading, forget the story, think about something nice and beautiful but my mind was deeply focused on the need to see the worst. Therefore I saw the worst.

I read about loneliness, muffled cry, soundless scream and getting lost. Whilst reading this book I experienced “longing for more”, without the knowledge of the particular thing which was looked for. I saw solitude in the crowd as well as sadness filled with laugh, music and parties. Finally I met the undefined fear dressed as the excitement and perverse.

The book shows the story of teenagers who ask the questions of life but don’t know how and where to find the proper answers. They do not respect their parents or teachers as nobody listens to them or tries to understand their dilemmas and fears. They have no one to talk to, so they deal with all their problems by using drugs and treating the perverse sex as an easy way to have fun or money.

- 'It's what?' - Rip wants to know.

- 'It's... I don't think it's right'

- 'What is right? If you want something, you have the right to take it. If you want to do something, you have the right to do it.' (...)

- 'But you don't need anything. You have everything' - I tell him.

Rip looks at me. 'No. I don't'

- What?'

- 'No. I don't'

There's a pause and then I ask, 'Oh, shit, Rip, what don't you have?'

- 'I don't have anything to lose'

Unfortunately they waste a lot. They lose everything. They shed their opportunities, dreams, plans, youth, relationships, confidence, self-esteem and dignity. Therefore they start to believe that they are less than zero.

This book disturbed me because of its contests regarding hopelessness, sadness and the reality it displayed. It made me excited as the plot is remarkable. I felt the pain whilst having read it and this was exactly what I should have felt. 

“I don't close my eyes. You can disappear here without knowing it.” I disappeared for a couple of hours just to finish reading this book and this opened my eyes.

I’m not wordless anymore!

I again deeply fell in love with you. Which time was it? I’m unable to count this as you turned me on thousands of times. Sometimes I think that you have fun playing with me this way, driving me completely craYzy and leaving me filled with you.

Yesterday you did it again. You perked me up and I felt as a patient recovering after a long and terrible illness. Please, just think outside the box and try to imagine how amazing this feeling was for me. It was like dancing in the warm summer rain. It was like lying in a soft bed in a cosy room and looking at a fire dancing in a fireplace while winter is outside. It was like flying very high even without the wings. I had the wings yesterday, and what is more they reminded themselves how to fly.

Yesterday I came out of my shell and spread my comfort zone, taking another step forward and promising myself that I will never let myself go backwards. Yesterday I pricked up my ears and I was open to everything you decided to give me, so I received a lot. You filled me making my sensitive interior meaningful. You helped me accept that I’m not perfect and I never will be, but I’m good enough.

I fell in love with you, sitting on an uncomfortable stool in a chilly but nice bar. The rain outside played some music quietly on the sills. The candles' light made the room homelike. I was tired after mixing different words in English, Polish and Spanish in my head all day. Because of this I was a little lost sometimes, but I tried very hard to focus on the extraordinary people around, who made you shine. 

And you shined! And again I fell deeply in love with your words, your music, your sounds... with you – POETRY.

Don't be so poetic!

During our Sunday breakfast my husband asked me: “What are you looking at?”

I was looking through the window. It was a bright sunny morning, not so common in the UK. The sun was shining after two days of the dreary rain. There was no haze, no dust, no patches of fog. The weather was perfect, apart from one detail – strong gusts of winter wind.

“I’m looking at the wind” – I answered. Trees bowed down before this wind like before the king. The wind jerked them, as they had done something unforgivable, and so they lost their last yellow leaves. It was a scary battle outside between the element and Saturday night’s remains. The air was bombed by plastic bags, glass bottles, tins, paper cups and take away boxes. This view made me sad and disgusted. 

“You are unable to see the wind” – my husband said and after a couple of seconds he added ironically: “You are just looking at the trees outside. Don't be so poetic!” 

So I stopped being so poetic. We finished our breakfast in silence, sipping our coffees and smiling at each other. When he set off to fulfill his duties in his air club I washed dishes, put on my shoes and went out for a walk. In my head I kept hearing his amused voice: “You are unable to see the wind”. I couldn’t believe that it was said by the person who deals with the wind every time he flies as a pilot or every time he sails as a steersman. I reminded myself the time when he taught me how to recognize the wind’s directions. It was ten or maybe twelve years ago when we sailed together the first time for me. He showed me the waves on the lake, he asked me to close my eyes and feel the wind on my face, he taught me how to use the wind to lead a boat and achieve a target. That time I realized that the wind is not only touchable and visible but also colourful. 

From that time I observe that the wind has different colours every day. It depends on the weather, time of the day and other circumstances. Sometimes it is grey or green, sometimes white close to colourless but still visible. A couple of days ago it was red as blood in the morning and dark crimson in the afternoon. This morning it was yellow, not bright yellow despite the fact that the sun was shining so beautifully, but rather sand yellow, a little bit dirty and not uniform.

“Have you ever seen the blue wind?” – I asked aloud.

“No, never” – the voice answered.

“Neither have I” - I said with sureness that this will happen one day.

A warning from a good boy...

The first book written by Mario Vargas Llosa which I read was “The bad girl”. I was so interested in the plot of this novel that I missed my bus stop when I was reading this book in the bus. This novel means more than just a story for me. It touched me deeply and completely changed my point of view regarding the life, relationship, love and human being. 

“The Bad Girl” is a story about Ricardo from Peru who falls in love with a beautiful girl called Lily, who claims to be from Chile. From the very beginning Lily is described as being a liar so we can’t trust a single word she is saying. On one hand she is delicate, lovely, romantic and charming but on the other hand we can easily notice that she is insolent and dishonest. She uses Ricardo to achieve her goals and after that she disappears, leaving him completely distraught. 

Despite the fact that Ricardo knows that Lily is a vile, horrible and atrocious person he still loves her. He spends the rest of his life waiting for her. She comes back a couple of times, always pretending to be someone else, but her inhuman character shows that it has to be Lily without question. Ricardo abhors this and he feels sadness and anger, however he is ready to do anything she wants him to do, even sacrifice his life. His life choice is to be a victim of her ambitions, selfishness and ruthlessness.

The time flies, the places of this story are changed, the political and social background of the novel shows that for many nations the years described in this book are difficult and significant, but all of Ricardo’s choices are determined only by his first and only love.

This story is painful but it has to be exactly as it is to highlight that our behavior is powerful. To be a human is powerful, especially when being human means being inhuman. 

Even bad boys with bad dreams should be careful when meeting the bad girl....

UNentertaining Mr. Sloane

“Entertaining Mr. Sloane” is a new production of the Curve Theatre based on a play written by Joe Orton. The Curve Theatre is the best place to perform Orton’s work as the author was originally from Leicester, and so the square in the front of the Curve is named after him.

I didn’t read the original play yet but I’m planning to do so shortly. I’m in the middle of the Orton’s diaries and I found his personality very interesting. He was a strange guy, because of the choices he made as well as his sexual life which was extraordinary.

Because of his diaries I assumed that the play would be the same: packed with sexual intrigues, excitements and smartly led action twists. I was sure that the stage will be a place of physical, psychological and emotional buzz. Unfortunately I was wrong. The first scene was not breathtaking but played quite well. After that the tension visible at the beginning eased and in my opinions actors even stopped acting which was inexcusable. The plot about sexual perversions between young Mr. Sloane and his landlady as well as her rich brother mixed with the mysterious crimes started to be unbelievably “trashy”. This made me feel cheated. I believe that it was just because of the bad production rather than the play itself. 

Mr. Sloane didn’t turn me on despite the fact he wore his sexy leather clothes, which was a pity! 

I believe in belief

“I had belief. I did not know, or for the moment care, what exactly it was I had to believe in. I only knew that belief in something was the first step away from believing in nothing, the first step away from a world which only recognised what it could count, measure, sell or buy.” [Paul Torday]

“Salmon fishing in the Yemen” is a book about dreams that come true. A sheikh from the Yemen wants to introduce salmon fishing, which he really enjoys, to his desert country. His idea sounds like madness but he is determined so much that he finds people who are able to help him. The first person is Harriet Chetwoode-Talbot, a consultant and his representative in the UK. The second one is Alfred “Fred” Jones who is the British government expert in salmon fisheries. As a scientist Fred doesn’t believe in success of the project. At the beginning he tries to boycott this crazy idea but due to political reasons his boss pushes him harder to engage in this job. What is more, after a couple of meetings and conversations with the sheikh, Fred starts to understand the curiosity of the sheik’s point of view. Impossible things start to be a challenge. Inability is just the border which has to be crossed. Dreams are going to be the purpose and finally they come true.

The political and social background of all decisions which are made when the Salmon Fishing project is realized is fabulously described. It makes this book more meaningful and important. The characters’ personal life is also shown as a layered surface which makes the novel extraordinary and surprising as well as realistic. 

“I believed in belief. I didn’t exactly feel as if I was on the road to Damascus, and I was aware I could not think straight because of the power of the sun, but now I knew what the Yemen salmon project was all about. It had already worked its transformation on me. It would do the same for others.” [Paul Torday]

This marvelous book written by Paul Torday, followed by the beautiful film directed by Lasse Hallström (with a slightly different screenplay in comparison to the original book), transforms lives. It has transformed the author’s reality from being an engineer to reaching success in writing. It transforms the way of thinking from “believing in nothing” to “believing in something”. 

„A truth to believe, believe, believe before you die, die, die...” [Jo Twist]

Diwali warmed up by An Indian Summer memento

A short memento… caused by Diwali, which was yesterday!

Last June I really enjoyed An Indian Summer Festival which was organized by a couple of volunteers from the Indian community from Leicester. This event took place in Phoenix Square, where an audience could taste Indian food, visit exhibitions, watch Indian films or take part in workshops. The programme for the two days of the festival was packed with an enormous amount of activities, one of them was the Interactive Sari Demo.

When I noticed an advertisement that An Indian Summer team was looking for models for the Sari Demo and that the experience, size and race are not important for them, I thought that it’s a great opportunity for me. I dreamt of learning how to wear a sari as I love this colourful and elegant cloth. I’m interested in the Indian culture from the history and traditional habits of this nation through to the delicious spicy cuisine and amazing fashion, which is absolutely different than the Western style.

During the two days of the festival I was dressed in four different styles of saris. I was impressed with the many different ways of wearing a sari. It’s difficult to imagine that it is a piece of a rectangle material, which wraps a body so beautifully. All of frills and creases of the material are pinned when dressing, can be worn in many different ways. Draping a sari is creative and quite complicated. Walking in a sari is also not easy as you have to be very refined, glamorous and alluring to make a good impression. Wearing a sari means being elegant. 

Watch this space and pop in to Leicester to make summer very special – An Indian Summer!

Many thanks to Kajal Patel for this fab picture!

Go back to work on Monday

If you are a certified professional it’s definitely your piece of cake! However do not read this if you are not ready for answering the basic questions… There has to be a revolution, but it has to be a revolution of consciousness… and then “all institutions will be overturned including the institution of the revolution itself” [Jo Twist].

Four actors on the stage with just a couple of props and one pianist made the play “Certified” (the Curve Theatre, Leicester, September 2012) spectacular, expressive and meaningful. It is one of the best plays I have ever seen because of this hilarious actors’ play, as well as the great script written by Scott Rankin and Glynn Nicholas.

“Certified” is a story of four professionals - three executives and their boss - who are going together to a tropical resort for a weekend to talk about restructuring the company. The boss mentioned previously that he was looking for the best partners for himself so they should have been ready for everything, including the fact that not all of them would go back to work on Monday. Because of this warning, all his employees decided to go with him to the resort, despite the fact that this was not suitable for them. During this trip they discuss much more than only topics related to their work. An audience is a witness of four tragic-comedian life stories, based on the most common stereotypes of men: a successful boss, an exemplary husband and father, a midlife crisis sufferer and a young smart playboy. Their daily problems and worries are shown with a fantastic sense of humor, full of ironic comments and sarcastic punch lines, which makes the show unbelievable funny. On the other hand, the problems discussed on the stage are the main issues of human life like love, fraternity, relationships, loneliness, self-esteem and being.

The main questions asked on the stage are: “Who are you?”; “What do you want?”; “What do you want for yourself”. The answers are not easy and the four characters hardly try to find the best solution for themselves. 

This brilliant play is not only a “man’s world”, despite the fact that only men are shown there. It’s an intellectual and psychical battle in which we all take part every day, because “I am who I am, I am just a man”…

Let me ask you: 

Who are you? What do you want? What do you want for yourself?

This is the end…

The whole of UK talks about the “Skyfall”, the new James Bond, and so I decided to watch this. I’m not a huge fan of action films, and so obviously I’m not an expert in these. I found the oldest stories about James Bond interesting, I watched: “From Russia with love”, “Dr.No” and “Goldfinger” featuring Sean Connery followed by “For your eyes only” and my favourite one “Octopussy” with Roger Moore. These are classical films and show James Bond, an English special agent 007 as an invincible, extraordinarily intelligent and heartbreaking playboy. He is able to handle any dangerous situation using his strength, cleverness and flair. The plots are always full of uncommon and unpredictable action scenes. On the other hand they are very recurrent, as James Bond is shown to be trapped by a beautiful woman and has to make passionate love with her. It has to be dangerous for him, however he is able to sort out all difficulties, overcome all his enemies and finally he comes back safe and sound to the UK, the country he loves most.

The newest James Bond, played by Daniel Craig, is different in comparison to the older films. The plot is related to the previous stories and the main scheme is the same, however the character is shown as a “resurrected immortal” person rather than the best agent in the World. He has no physical strength to pass the tests prepared for agents before they receive special works, but his loyalty and patriotism pushes him to fight against the enemies of the British Empire. He is no longer the best one as he makes a couple of school boy errors due to his age, body limits as well as sentimental thinking. Despite these he is able to run away even if he though should be dead.

In my opinion the plot is too sophisticated, which makes the story unbelievable, too long and boring which irritates me. It’s not only an action film as the characters talk too much about psychological issues. It also can’t be classified as a drama or a psychological film as it doesn’t discuss these topics deep enough. I believe that the director, Sam Mendes, tried to create this film family friendly as cruelty as well as nudity is not really shown.

The one thing which I really love in the “Skyfall” is Adele’s song which is a background of a fabulous computer animation. I also enjoyed the camerawork which I found brilliant especially when showing shots from Shanghai and Istanbul.  Apart from these in my opinion Adele is right when singing: “This is the end… Hold your breath and count to ten… Feel the earth move and then hear my heart burst again” as this is definitely the end of the James Bond era.

Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya

Many people from the whole World cant’s wait for the night between 31st of December and 1st of January to enjoy huge and beautiful firework displays. If you would like to see amazing firework shows not only during this common time just pop in to Leicester in autumn! You will definitely find this city as a place suitable for pyromaniacs!

Last weekend there were two breathtaking firework displays. The first one was on Saturday due to Guy Fawkes Night, while the second one was yesterday during the celebration of switching on the lights before Diwali Day.

Guy Fawkes Night refers to the history of arresting Guy, who was a member of the Gunpowder Plot against the House of Lords and non-catholic King James the First in 1605. People lit huge fires to celebrate the failed plot, and this celebration begun annually.  Nowadays the celebration is slightly more commercial rather than thanksgiving, with food stalls, stage performances and fantastic firework displays, not only fires with statues of Guy Fawkes, which are still lit. The fire in Abbey Park in Leicester was smaller this year than in previous years but the fireworks were breathtaking, especially the part when we could observe spaceships and planets in the sky, with the music from “Star Wars” in the background. The cosmos was truly at our fingertips.

Diwali is the festival of light, celebrated by Hindus, Sikhs and Jains. We are lucky enough to have a huge Indian/Asian community in Leicester, therefore the Diwali celebrations in this city are the biggest outside of India. Up to 35 thousand people attend the Diwali Day (which this year will be on Tuesday 13th of November) as well as the Diwali Lights Switch On Event, which took place last Sunday. I love all events related to this festive season, from Rangoli exhibitions (traditional art made from coloured powder and sand) through to sari demos, but most of all I adore the lights switch on. The minute when all Belgrave Road lights up with decorations is very touchable and meaningful. It helps me to believe that the phrase: “Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya”, which means “Lead me from darkness to light” is important to any person despite his/her religion, race, nationality, language and background. This year fireworks at the end of this night were fabulous. The show took 20 minutes and started powerfully with a fire inferno representing the symbol of Om and a torch. The first one was related to the Hindu symbol of the beginning of life. The torch was displayed as a symbol of searching for inner light and self-enlightenment.

Are you ready to renew your life? 

Be a crocodile

“The mamba” means “crocodile” in Swahili, and refers to the name of the gang that used to run in Huruma, Nairobi.  This gang was led by George Hussein Obama, who was the first slum gangster in Nairobi and who is the President of the United States Barack Obama’s half brother. They have the same father, but as life has shown they have completely different lifestyles. One is the well known first black President of the USA, while the other lives in poverty in the Huruman ghetto.

George Obama is no longer a criminal and outlaw. After being jailed, he turned his world around and stayed as the leader of Africa’s most lawless, poor and brutal district, as he did not agree how the local police and politicians treated people. He is an informal president of the slums in Nairobi. He lives with his people and deals with poverty, starvation and injustice which cause crimes. He rarely tries to change this and makes it work better for people. He is powerful and influential, even if he doesn’t live as his brother in the White House, filled with richness and prosperity.

This play is a real-life story which compares two separate worlds of two completely different people, who are determined to be the leaders. George works to improve the lives of the people of the area he lives in and he has become an inspiration to them. Barack looks for reelection in the USA. 

Their characters are dramatized by the brilliant role of George played by Clifford Samuel. “Obama the Mamba” is a monodrama, so the way of playing it is essential. During the 2 hours of the show Clifford is a child with dreams, a schoolboy with plans, a frustrated teenager without hope, a young adult making his first decisions and commits his first crimes. He is a looser who has been caught, a man who discovers that the relationship with his brother doesn’t exist  and finally a charismatic and smart fugleman of the lost nation.

This story raises some fundamental questions about who we are, what we look like, where we come from, what family means and how powerful the influence is. 

"Obama the Mamba" was played in the Curve Theatre in Leicester as one of the "Black History Season" events. One of the shows was followed by the meeting with George Hussein Obama himself.

All Hallows and Melusina

The first Philippa Gregory’s book I read was „The Other Boleyn Girl”, about Anne Boleyn – Henry the Eighth’s wife, and her sister – Henry the Eighth’s mistress. I wasn’t impressed with the writing, I’m afraid. Despite this fact I found the book very interesting because of its historical background and completely different point of view, showing the relationship between sisters, not only as a historical fact from an encyclopedia, but also as an emotional competition. Philippa Gregory emphasized the small details which were critical for the English history and which were based on the most common and basic human feelings, like love, passion, jealousy and hatred. The story shown by Gregory in this book was filmed, and the film was very successful not only in the UK but also worldwide. 

“The White Queen” is also a historical novel. Many parts of the story are fictitious but they are based on the real history of the UK. It is the story of the cousins’ war between the House of York and Lancaster in XV century. The “White Queen” is Elizabeth Woodville, a young Lancastrian widow, who is loved by the charismatic and invincible King of England Edward the Fourth of York. He decided to marry her, which created a lot of new enemies for him, who didn’t agree with his will, and so didn’t want to accept Elizabeth as a right Queen of England and their children as the heirs.

Elizabeth is shown as a fascinating heroine who is beautiful, smart, strong, ambitious and confident. She believes in magic and relies on Melusina, the water goddess. The legend of Melusina and the descriptions of the magic practices make this book fabulous. The whole story is more powerful and mystical because of magic, and shows how human behaviour and choices are hardly determined by everything we believe in.

“The White Queen” is a book about being a woman in a men’s world, about being a lover, mother, daughter and widow in the medieval period. It’s a book about choices, worries, lost opportunities, fears and hope. Philippa Gregory was asked if she could go back in time and live in any of the royal courts which one would she choose she replied: “I would be absolutely mad to want to be a woman of any of these times. A Tudor or Plantagenet woman was wholly ruled by men: either father or husband. She would find it difficult to seek any education, make her own fortune, or improve her circumstances. If one could go back in time and be a wealthy man these would be times of adventure and opportunity but still tremendously dangerous”. I have to agree with her on one hand, but on the other hand we need to remember that despite the fact that women couldn’t vote at that time and were dependent on men, they were able to give men their heirs. This fact was essential and remains the same these days. This truth can easily be found in the discussed book: “He promised her that he would give her everything, everything she wanted, as men in love always do. And she trusted him despite herself, as women in love always do.”

The holes that make up a sponge…

Autumn in Leicester is very colourful and powerful not only because of yellow and crimson leaves on trees, but also because of the variety of cultural events. The first one, from the long list of the autumn Leicester festivals, is “Everybody’s Reading Festival” related to poetry and literature. This year I had an opportunity to take part in a number of the Everybody’s Reading Festival’s events which I really enjoyed.

I took part in a workshop called “Mass media – inspiration for poetry and art”, which was led by a poet Jo Twist and an artist Magnus (Gallery Guest/Galleri Gestur). During several hours of this workshop, participants created their collages and poems, inspired by news from the local newspapers, for me this was a really creative time.

I joined meetings with authors and poets as well as lyrical lunchtimes and other meetings with charismatic activists. There were a lot of things which I will remember for a long time, however there was one that I will keep deep in my heart for the rest of my life, this was the Anthology Launch of the “Showcase Smoothie” project. This is a literature and music project, led by Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust, designed to showcase the talent of young sufferers with mental health issues. Last year this project was dedicated to nine young schizophrenics and other mental health sufferers, who worked hard on their poems. Their work was published in the anthology titled: “Poems to read (before u die)”, introduced to the public during the Everybody’s Reading Festival. During the Anthology Launch these nine amazing men read aloud their poems and performed them. They did this very beautifully, showing not only their excellent writing skills, but also their professional performing talent. These two hours of reading poetry was breathtaking and absolutely unbelievable. It is difficult to imagine the difference between my standard and ordinary perception of reality and their splendid point of view on two different scales: the first one familiar to every people and the second one – their own. I was deeply touched and impressed. I laughed and cried at the same time, moved by the smart words, extraordinary emotions and fantastic performance given by fabulous people, who are full of surprises even for themselves. Just to give an example of their way of thinking I would like to quote a verse from one of the poems written by Zeropence: “I am the holes that make up your bath sponge”. How sophisticated these words are!!!

The authors of “Poems to read (before u die)” have definitely shown me a different world full of difficulties and fears but also beauty. I wish I was the holes that make up a sponge…

The 29th Birthday Resolutions

It was a gloomy Sunday, 28th of October 2012, it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sofa in my small, dark, rented flat and listening to the music. It was one of the Chopin’s Etude played by Sviatoslav Richter. I am not a big fan of Chopin’s music but it was a birthday gift from my Parents as I am old enough, in their opinion, to try to understand the classical music. They are right: I’m 29 so I’m old enough.

I had my 29th Birthday yesterday. I received a lot of beautiful and meaningful wishes from my family and friends, which made me very happy. I discovered once again that being far away doesn’t mean that my relationship with other people can’t be very deep and close. I also noticed once more that I have lovely friends here – far away from my home – which means that my place in the World is also here now. I should have been happy, however as it was my last birthday with number “2” in the front I had a lot of contradictory thoughts.

I was sitting on the sofa in my small, dark, rented flat, listening to the music and thinking about my life and my previous choices which have determined my future. I am 29 now, have been married for 9 years with the perfect man, without children. I am 29 now, a well educated professional with two masters degrees but without job from June this year and with a lot of plans for myself which haven’t worked as I had hoped for. I am 29 now, an only child with parents far away, who need me right now more than ever before. I am 29 now and I feel depressed without any particular reason.

I had my 29th Birthday yesterday so the time dedicated only to myself couldn’t last too long. The sounds of music were interrupted by the phone ringtone, it was my Brother-in-law who called me with his wishes and I found this conversation the most important from a long list of the awesome birthday wishes I received. He mentioned that he had felt depressed a couple of months before when he had his 29th birthday, but finally he realized that it was a beginning of the new era rather that the end of youthfulness. He said to me: “make every of your day before your 30th birthday powerful and meaningful to make sure that you will be a happy, successful and a confident 30 year old woman this time next year”. I promised myself I will do that, make all of the wishes come true! “Here I am, this is me (…) it’s a new world, it’s a new start, it’s alive with the beating of young hearts…”